This is our weather today and this is how I feel. Dark, cloudy, cold, surrounded by vibrant people, but feeling naked and alone. It seems as if in just a couple of days my life has taken turns for the worse that will never be repaired. Infact some of these things will not and can not be repaired and it has me in absolute gutwrenching turmoil. I am unable to do anything to help heal my family that has been affected and do not know how to deal with this myself. My family has been changed in a way that will never be right again.
My mind is in hyper speed trying to sort everything into some semblance of reason and it is not working. I feel that I am at the edge of a cliff teetering not to plunge over into a dark abyss. When you are the glue of an entire family unit and you are falling apart yourself how do you hold everyone together? My family is coming apart in front of my eyes and there is nothing I can do to stop it! Between this latest nightmare and my husbands terminal illness along with all the other drama that seems a constant in my life I just want to crawl in a whole and never come out.
I can not keep one straight thought in my head, I can not focus on just one thing, I wander the house aimlessly wondering what I should be doing. What can I do?